A good husband knows when his wife is about to lose it and takes immediate action.

So here I am on my couch, a cup of coffee to my left and Sam to my right.  Sam’s having an obnoxious conversation with Siri on the I-pad (he just called her a “poopy head”).  Lucy’s laying in the patch of sun coming through the glass door and she’s keeping watch on the neighborhood.  There’s a load of laundry in the wash, a load in the dryer.  In many ways, it’s like a normal Saturday morning.  And until this moment I didn’t realize how much I needed this.

During the twelve days and eleven nights in the hospital, Nate and I have developed a routine.  There’s nothing wrong with a routine until it renders you afraid to make change.  And that’s what started to happen to me.  By the middle of the week, I  hated to leave the hospital, or even Nate’s room.  Then when I would get away for a few hours, I was so irritable, worried or unsettled.

Right now Nate is in what’s called the “drop and recovery” period of his cancer treatment — a grueling time in which we wait for Nate to become neutropenic and linger for about two weeks before he starts to recover from the effects of chemotherapy.  In laymen’s terms, this means that Nate is losing his neutrophils, a type of white blood cell that helps fight infection.

It’s a normal part of treatment.  But it requires a totally unnatural way of life.  Nate can no longer leave his room, not even for short strolls down the hallway even though we are staying in an isolation unit.

On Thursday night, I left the hospital for awhile to have dinner with Ted and Sam.  I know I was snappy.  I complained about silly things in the house.  I also complained to Ted about being in the hospital, how the noise of the Purel dispenser outside Nate’s room was starting to drive me crazy.

I had been adamant that I was going to stay in the hospital every night except Saturdays even though Ted had repeatedly offered to stay.  On Thursday night as I finished reading Sam a story, Ted again offered and then insisted he stay the whole weekend.  And I’m so glad he did.

I awoke this morning in my own bed and had a great morning with Sam.

In a few minutes, Sam is heading off with a friend for the day.

Ted and Nate are over at the hospital, probably doing what they would be doing if they were home — being together and loving every minute.

And that will allow me to accomplish my goal for today: turn off my “on demand” switch, pick up the remote and watch cheesy Bravo TV shows that I’ve missed these past two weeks.